Exactly one year and a day has gone by since I posted So Done with 2010! on January 1, 2011. We were ready to move on while we looked forward to a new year of good and positive things to come.
The very next evening, January 2, 2011 I received a shocking and devastating phone call from my mom that my oldest friend, my BEST friend for many years, my “big brother”, had died that day. He committed suicide. So many lives changed forever.
The day after Scott’s funeral I posted this.
Now. Today. Exactly one year later, I am still heartbroken. Not a single day has gone by that I haven’t thought about him and the family and friends he left behind.
I have been unsure these past weeks of how I could, or even should, post my reflections on all that has happened this past year and what we are looking forward too in the coming New Year.
I will NEVER look to the New Year in the same way again.
This past year we have surrounded ourselves with family and friends and I found many days filled with joy and excitement and hope. Through all of this, thoughts of Scott were always there…just knowing he was no longer here, changed everything. I feel things differently. More deeply.
We will all move on with our lives. It will be hard but perhaps with time some days a little “less hard”. I know I will also move on to experience joy and love and hope even more so because I have learned, or at least I think I have learned, just how precious that experience is.
My New Year is changed forever. And I am too.
The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) needs us too. I wonder what important insight could we, as an Autism Community, provide for the AFSP? The anxiety and depression that a lot of our children experience, especially as they get older. The bullying, the inability at times to navigate our very social world, the isolation. The depression and anxiety and isolation that parents of special needs children can go through. Although my friend Scott’s story is completely different and apart from those in the Autism Community, it’s an interesting thought to me and perhaps a much-needed perspective…something to ponder this New Year.