This morning Henry, Lucy and I were eating breakfast together as usual. Generally there is not a lot of conversation between us at this hour of day as I’ve only had one cup of coffee or tea by this point and I am not yet ready for much dialog. We communicate enough to get the job of eating breakfast done so we can move on with our day. This morning, however, the little ones were unusually chatty.
Henry: “You know, Mom, our galaxy?”
Me: “Yes. You mean the Milky Way?”
Henry: “Yeah, the Milky Way. Well you know that stinky planet in our galaxy?”
Me: “Ummm, no. A stinky planet?”
Henry: “Right. That planet that is really fast and really stinky?”
Me: “I don’t know about a stinky planet, Hen. Is it made up of a lot of gases?”
At this point I am not sure where this is going and my brain is spinning back to 8th grade earth science trying to remember all of the planets and their different properties.
Henry: “No, it’s super fast… Mercury! Do you know Mercury, Mom?”
Me: “Oh, sure I know Mercury. I didn’t know it was stinky though.”
Henry: “Yeah, its super speedy and super stinky!” He’s gesturing really fast with one hand waving back and forth and the other hand is holding his nose. And now Lucy chimes in.
Lucy: “Yeah it’s super stinky! P.U.” Holding her nose as well.
Henry: “Mom, you know what makes Mercury stink?”
Me: “No, I don’t know what makes it stink. Do you?”
Henry: “Do you think it’s that green stuff?”
Me: “What green stuff?”
Henry: (sounding exasperated) “Uh, helllooo, the stinky green stuff…!!!”
Me: (At this point I really need more caffeine!) “Dude, I have no idea.”
Lucy: (laughing hysterically) “Maybe the aliens are burping out of their bottoms and that’s what’s making it stink!”
I will add in here that I am thankful that about a year or so ago Henry came up with the phrase “body burping” for passing gas and we have had variations of such ever since. That’s a keeper!
Henry: “No, Lucy, that’s not it! They’re not burping out of their bottoms!”
Lucy: “Maybe the alien babies pooped in their diapers and that’s why it stinks.” (more laughing)
Henry: “Lucy! No!”
Lucy:“Mommy should change them and then Mercury wouldn’t stink!”
Henry: “Lucy! Arrrrrrrh! Stop! They’re not burping out of their bottoms and they don’t have poopy diapers!”
Lucy: “Well maybe…..”
It was here that I left the Great Stinky Planet Debate and headed for more tea and a shower. It was way too early for me to even consider trying to make more of a contribution to this conversation. Let those stinky, body-burping aliens chime in and they can change their own diapers while their at it!