Besides still learning to navigate WordPress, I have just not known where, or how, to start sharing our story. Jess over at A Diary of a Mom (a wonderful and inspirational blog!) suggested I just start in the middle. Her writing just amazes me! Since she certainly knows what she is talking about I will go with her suggestion.
I am supposed to be writing a history of my son for a two -week intensive behavior therapy course we are taking at TouchPoint Autism Services next week. I have not even started this history, much the way I have not written here. How do I even start? What will I start with? H’s actual diagnosis? From birth? Frustrating!
We are looking forward to the class but are also anxious. Will it be worth it? Will it work for us and our son? What I am really worried about is not how my son will learn and adapt, because he is AMAZING and he can and will do it! I am worried if I can do it! Can I learn new behaviors and verbage that are appropriate in dealing with H? Can I be consistent? Will I be consistent? So far, I feel as if I have failed miserably in these areas. My husband and I joke that it is not our son that is the problem, it is us! But, I think both of us, deep down, feel it is no joke. Sure, parenting is hard work. We know. We have two “typical” girls that book-end our son. Some days I feel that it is those two girls that are going to do me in, actually! If I can’t parent typical kids effectively then how on earth will I manage to parent one on the spectrum?!? How can we raise all of our children to be the absolute best that they can be, to go out into the world good and productive citizens?
So many questions. So much self-doubt. And a long history to get started on…I start today.